The Choice

      The Choice, by Allison J. Kennedy, is a wonderful masterpiece that everyone should experience reading. However, disclaimer, this book does deal with heavy issues surrounding trauma, and could potentially be quite triggering. When I received the ARC for this beautiful novel, there was a discretion warning on there, which I was very pleased they included. But back to the masterpiece.

      May is your typical high school teenager, with two best friends, a little sister and an independent personality. At the beginning of the novel, one of May's best friends, Addison, is in Italy exploring her heritage alone leaving the best friend trio out of sorts. So May and Danica are navigating high school together, with some drama thrown in. Their lives are normal and joyful, with thoughts of the future looming happily in heir minds. But one day, May is pressured by Danica to attend a party, and being the good best friend she is, she reluctantly goes ahead and attends. But that night May senses trouble and wants to leave, and when Danica breaks the promise that she'd leave with May if May wanted to,trouble brews and their lives are changed forever. After Danica is hurt, May is frustrated and tries to get away from the party I an upstairs bedroom. However, tragedy strikes when May is raped, and time stands still. 

      May rushes out of the house, trying to comprehend what has just happened to her, and without explaining why, drags Danica out with her. When the two have a knockout fight that same night, May is left alone and traumatized. She tells no one. The emotions that Adwen were able to portray in May's character are raw, passionate, encompassing and poetic. You can empathize with May in an uncanny way, experiencing how victims feel when everything was taken away from them without permission. May is sick of days, won't talk to anyone and retreats inward. She loses weight and can't feel anything besides sick and disgusted. 

      Addison finally returns home from her amazing trip to Italy, and May starts to pickup a little with her best friend by her side. She goes back to school, but has to endure sitting in the same room as her rapist for most of her classes. Addison soon (correctly) guesses what happens the "night she lost her virginity", and experiences May's pain with her. 

      In the background, May has started to heal a tiny bit by riding and taking care of her horse, a lifelong passion. At the horse barn, May spots a new guy riding a horse around the stables. She tries to hide, not anywhere near ready to get involved with the male species, but her interest is piqued at his natural ability. When he runs into her "accidentally," she's stunned that she is so relaxed around him. Alex has been through a lot in her life, and although at the time has no idea what trauma May has just endured, takes to her immediately. Alex is new to the area, his grandfather just passed away and as the only living relative left, he inherited his bookstore. After a cautious invitation is extended to May to come see the bookstore, May warily agrees. The more May gets to know Alex, the more comfortable she is, surprising herself. Even after they share their first kiss, May isn't terrified and still wants to be around Alex. Addison is concerned though - she thinks May is taking this way too fast so soon after her traumatic experience and warns May to be cautious. May understands this though, she just is enjoying feeling safe and comfortable to Alex's presence.

     But more is in store for May when she thinks she may be pregnant. She missed her always on time period, and then got some spot bleeding for a couple of days before it went away. She panics and calls Addison, and after a positive pregnancy test, May breaks down. She wants this child out of her - NOW. Abortion is the only thing on her mind, she can't believe the luck she has. After Addison texts her and her mom sees the text message, her whole family is in on what happened. But she doesn't let them know that she was raped, so they say hurtful things about her having unprotected sex and being unsafe, leading to becoming pregnant. Especially when she tells them she doesn't even remember who did it. Why is May protecting her rapist? She gently tells Alex, amazed he still wants to be near her, since she considers herself "damaged goods" now. But Alex is supportive more than ever, and just wants to be there for May. May is falling for Alex, and Alex seems to have already fallen for May.

    Addison is whole-heartily against May getting an abortion, and wants her to reconsider. But her amended, but still shaky relationship with Danica has improved, and she agrees to go with her to the clinic along with her mother while she gets the procedure done. More trials are ahead for May though. May starts to rethink if this is really the right thing to do, and in the meantime something tragic happens that will again change May's life forever.

   Is May ever going to be okay? Can she get through and past this trauma she's endured? Where is Alex and May's relationship going to end up?

    Kennedy gives short glimpses into May's future throughout the book, enough to keep you knowing that May will endure and will survive, and even come out happy on the other side. But these glimpses are infrequent and mysterious, until it all comes together at the end.

    There are so many twists and turns and emotions flooding throughout this masterpiece of a novel, I can't wait to get my hands on a physical copy and read it cover to cover again. Pick up this novel right now and read it! You won't regret it, it has quickly made its way onto my short list of favorite books of all time.

(Sorry about the two day delay, apparently I didn't figure out how to work Blogger's "publish on this day" function, Ugh!)